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Addicted To Porn: Who Me? |
How do you know if you're addicted to porn? Answer the question, "Can
you take it or leave it?" If the answer is no, if porn has become a
regular part of your life and if you plan your life around it you have a
problem!
Pornography effects every area of an addict's life but the most
devastation happens in a porn addicts relationships.
Relationships suffer because a porn addict spends more time online than
time interacting with his family and friends. A porn addict experiences
"being in a trance" where several hours spent online seems like several
minutes. Meanwhile family members and friends feel ignored, angry,
unimportant and neglected.
Pornography impairs the ability to build deep intimate relationships.
Pornography isn't about real human relationships and sexuality. Porn is
about sex that is dehumanizing and toxic. Most men who view pornography
use it for sexual release (masturbation) or self-gratification.
There is no love, honor, dignity, intimacy or commitment involved in
online porn and cybersex. Porn addicts set themselves up for unrealistic
expectations leading to unhappy and unhealthy relationships.
Pornography destroys finances and leads to fighting and bickering about
money. In the beginning online porn is free, but once hooked a porn
addict continuously pays for more lewd, graphic and sensual material.
This leaves the porn industry rich and an addict and his family poor.
A porn addict isn't a bad person but a person in pain. Often the addict
has been sexually abused or suffers from other unhealed childhood
wounds. Porn is used as an escape from stress, fear, loneliness,
emptiness and rejection.
The shame, guilt and deceit that stem from porn addiction is often
paralyzing. The results of this behavior leave an addict with feelings
of regret, self-pity and humiliation. A porn addict often is depressed
and loses his enthusiasm and passion for life.
Some researchers have proven that pornography can have the same effect
on the brain as cocaine. Epinephrine, a chemical in the brain
permanently burns pornographic images into the memory. These burned in
images are what makes porn addiction so difficult to overcome. The
images are stored at cellular level and become intrusive in daily life
for years to come.
Pornography is fantasy, an escape from reality. The reality is life and
relationships are hard work. It takes continuous effort to be in an
intimate and nurturing relationship with a partner and children. When a
porn addict commits to change and becomes 100% responsible for his life
he learns to build relationships on commitment, caring and mutual trust.
Unlike sex in porn, the sex in healthy relationships is about love.
Tess Marshall has a master's degree in counseling psychology and a
specialty in addictions. She has over 15 years of study, research and
experience in empowering people to grow personally, build authentic
relationships, and break addictions.
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